I had picked her in Syokímau. When the request came, at first I didn’t want to go pick her. She said she was going to Langata and there was a huge traffic snarl up on Mombasa road. The expressway was still under construction and I didn’t want to go to Mombasa road at that time. The money wasn’t worth it. But then she called and told me, several drivers had cancelled on her and I felt for her. Out of pity, nikaenda kumchukua.

She was accompanied by a man, but the man alighted before we got to the main road. After he had alighted, she asked me, “unaweza nipeleka Voi Dere. Nitakulipa poa”.

“You mean ile Voi ya kuelekea Mombasa?”, I asked her.

“Yes, hio. Kwani kuna Voi nyingine?”, she asked playfully.

“Sawa basi. Twenzetu”, I told her.

I was born fcvking ready. I can go to the moon on a moments notice nyie. Bora, you provide me with moon luggage. Tukafunga metho, úisalukya, nimekukalisha kwa rocket tukusítye mbasi mpaka mweini. Senziii, this is for wimens only.

She didn’t look okay but I know better not to ask. Her and the man that alighted had given me strange energy.

“Wanaume hutaka nini lakini?”, she asked me tukielekea junction ya Machakos.

I knew she was ready to talk.

“Before I can answer your question, niweke gari kando uketi hapa mbele?”, I asked her.

“I thought juu ya COVID rules, I am not allowed to sit there”, she answered me.

“Uko na COVID?”, I asked her.

“Hapana. Najihisi nikiwa sawa mimi”, she answered me.

I stopped the car by the road side and asked her to come sit in the front passenger seat.

“So, your question was, wanaume hutaka nini?. I am very particular about what I want kama mwanaume. Siwezi ongelea all men”, I told her.

“Wewe ni mwanaume. Wewe hutaka nini haswa?”, she asked me.

“Are you sure you want to hear my answer?”, I asked her.

“Yes, humour me”, she said.

“Mimi nataka ess na majegi”, I told her.

She laughed.

“Why didn’t I think you would say that?. Niko nazo. Na ukipata, nini ingine mnatafuta kama wanaume?”, she asked me.

“Heey, let’s stay with me..I cannot speak for other men”, I reminded her.

“So, niangalie vizuri. Ukipata hii ess na majegi, what else do you need?”, she asked me.

“Are we still talking about me?. Juu unaongea nikama nimezipata”, I told her.

“Silly, hypothetically speaking “, she reminded me.

“Nitataka bado ess na majegi zingine”, I told her.

“That’s it. You men, never know when you have a good woman”, she told me.

“What has happened?”, I asked her.

“You see that guy mwenye ameshuka gari, that’s my boyfriend of 9 years. We have lived together for five year. I worshipped the ground he walked on. I treated him well. I paused all my dreams for him. And what did he do, he got my friend pregnant “, she said.

“Waaah”, is all I said.

I know when I need to shut it.

“So, I confronted him last night. And he was so arrogant. I have decided to go after my dreams. I am going home to pick my school certificates, on Monday, I will be working in my brother’s firm and applying for a master’s degree. I am so done playing nice with him”, she told me.

“Seems like you have thought through it”, that’s all I could say.

“Are you married yourself?”, she asked me.

“Yes, my ass is married?”, I told her.

“For how long have you been married?”, she inquired.

“For 10 years”, I told her.

“Manze if you have a good woman, don’t ever sleep with her best friend. Najua umesema unapenda ess na majegi. But don’t be so obvious ukicheat”, she advised me.

“I have never cheated”, I told her.

Misenzii, kujeni mnichape!!.

I can see all’ya from my phone wanting to come beat me up for lying. Tulizeni your tush niwamalizie story. Story ni yangu sio yenyu. Tush ni mítúnú.

“Awwww, you are a rare gem”, she told me.

Mmesikia, I am a rare gem. Even I didn’t even know that. I will print it in a t-shirt. And I can see the grin on your face thinking, rare gem ya múthiti. Senziii.

We got to Voi midaa ya jioni towards 6PM. She picked her documents and off we were on our way back.

“I am not sure we will beat the curfew”, I warned her.

The curfew was 10PM at night.

“It’s okay. Pahali Giza itatupata tutajua”, she said.

I knew I could get to Emali before 10PM without driving at breakneck speed. We were in Emali saa mbili na nusu. Tukaingia Highway Hotel kulala.