Today I want to speak about a subject that many young people struggle with—relationships in campus. I share this from what I observed during my time in university. Having a boyfriend or girlfriend in campus is neither good nor bad—you are an adult, you know what is right for you. But if you are not sure, be aware of the mistakes that many students make in campus relationships.

Most young people in campus think being in a relationship is like winning a jackpot. In fact, if you are not dating in campus, you may even wonder if something is wrong with you. When I joined campus, I had a female friend in my second year. She was my best academic partner, more like a sister, and we shared a lot. It was a healthy, balanced friendship, and I am grateful because I have no regrets about it.

Here are five common mistakes I have seen students make in campus relationships:

1. Priority

Yes, you can have a relationship—but what is your priority? You were not called to campus to pursue love. Your first calling was your career. Do not sacrifice your academics for a relationship. If your boyfriend or girlfriend becomes a barrier to your career, let it go.

I once ended a relationship that demanded too much from me, and I do not regret it. It was the best decision. Sadly, I have seen comrades lose their opportunities because of relationships. Imagine missing exams while the one who broke your heart continues with their semester. Parents do not care about your campus relationship—they care about your graduation. Love can wait, but your career is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

2. Responsibility

In campus, I saw young men and women struggling with responsibilities that were never theirs. Some men borrowed money and hustled hard just to pay their girlfriend’s rent and fees yet they still depended on parents for their own. Some young women acted like wives, cooking, cleaning, and even spending their HELB for boyfriends who did not value them.

During my time, I never took HELB. Not because I was rich, but because I learned to hustle. Even then, I never wasted my resources on relationships. I invested in my growth, paid editors, and built my brand. The most expensive thing have ever bought for a girlfriend is a necklace in campus when I had a crush on her. That discipline helped me. My advice: do not carry unnecessary burdens in the name of love.

3. Decisions

Every relationship requires decisions—but poor decisions in campus can ruin lives. Many students treat sex like a lifestyle, ignoring the consequences. Some end up with pregnancies, others with STIs and heartbreaks.

For me, I made strict principles. I never slept at my girlfriend’s house, never used her bathroom, and never crossed my boundaries. Why? Because I thought of the repercussions in advance. If you choose sex, take responsibility. Stop blaming Satan for choices you willingly made.

4. Lifestyle

Some students fake a lifestyle in the name of relationships. Borrowing money for expensive food, outings, and weekend parties while your background at home is suffering. Some even sell family property to maintain appearances. This is dangerous.

Do not live on debt to impress a boyfriend or girlfriend. As the Swahili say, “Mwenda tenzi na omo, marejeleo ni ngamani”—whoever strays from wisdom will always come back with regret.

5. Time

Time is the most valuable asset in campus. Many waste it on endless visits to their partners instead of building themselves. After graduation, you will realize the painful truth: everyone is chasing their destiny, not old campus relationships.

I spent my free time writing books, practicing public speaking, and building the mentorship career I live in today. That investment has paid off far more than any casual relationship ever could.

Final Word

Campus is the best place to build your future, not to waste it. Relationships can wait, but time lost can never be recovered.

Focus on your career, manage your responsibilities, make wise decisions, live within your means, and guard your time.
When you do this, you will graduate not just with a degree, but with a destiny.

Coach Brian Motivator
Mentorship Beyond Boundaries.