The day I proposed to her, she said no. She said there was a guy in her life, but the guy had travelled abroad. According to her, though the relationship wasn’t in good health, she wanted to be sure that indeed the relationship was dead before she could start something new.

I understood her point and left her to settle her issues. One day she told me, “I think I’m wasting my time waiting for someone who isn’t coming for me. I’m moving on.”

That marked the beginning of something new between us. It was difficult at first. She was always looking back to see if that guy was coming back for her, but time and time again, she saw no sign. She eventually settled for our love to take over.

Two years later, we decided to make things official. My family went to see her family and did the ‘knocking’ ceremony. We then arranged to have a wedding in the next seven months.

After the ‘knocking’, we rented an apartment together, but I didn’t move in with her since we were not yet married. She was the only one staying in the apartment.

A few weeks after the ‘knocking’, I met a lady called Barbara. Barbara claimed she had been in the same secondary school as me and was two years my junior. She told me a lot of things only people in the school then would know. We became friends and later met a couple of times.

My girlfriend started putting up an attitude just around that time. She wasn’t seeing me as often as she used to, she hardly picked up my calls, and was hardly home anytime I went around to see her. She said nothing was wrong, but I knew there was something wrong.

Then one night she came to my place to tell me she was travelling. She said it was job-related and she would be going away for five days. She spent the night at my place that night, and for the first time in a long while, I felt everything was alright.

That very day she travelled, Barbara called and asked if I could make time to meet her over the weekend, and I said yeah. I asked where and she said, “I don’t even know where you live, why don’t we meet at your place instead? I have all day.”

We agreed to meet in the afternoon, but she got to my place around 7pm. Something wasn’t right, and I could sense it. Her dressing and how she threw herself on my bed when she entered the room left me sensing danger.

Soon it was 8pm and then 9pm, but there was no sign of her leaving. I told her it was getting late, but she paid little attention to me and instead kept tapping on her phone. She left the chair and threw herself into my bed again. As soon as she fell onto the bed, my door flew open and there she was—my girlfriend. She came with her junior sister.

A lot went on that night that I couldn’t explain. It was like a dream that made no sense. She kept screaming at the top of her voice, asking why I had a girl in my room and in my bed at that time. Barbara kept saying I didn’t tell her I had a girlfriend. The whole thing felt like a drama I’d been forced to act in without a script.

The next morning she sent me a text telling me it was over. I thought she was joking. I only got to know she was serious when her dad called me later and insulted me. He asked me to come for my ‘knocking’ drink because he was not ready to allow his daughter to marry a womanizer.

I apologized, but nothing good came out of my apology. Just as the father said, they returned the drink three days later.

All this happened in February. In the month of June, she had a traditional wedding with her ex-boyfriend who had returned from abroad recently. Again, nothing made sense to me.

Everything happened so fast—faster than you could say Jack. But through all the lies, her junior sister was truthful to me. She said: “You were played. She planted Barbara in your life so she could make the breakup your fault.”

That also didn’t make sense until she showed me a photo of Barbara at the traditional wedding. I felt cheated. I was angry all over again. Why didn’t she just walk away instead of creating all that senseless drama?

Six years later, she’s living life alone as if she’s never been married. Her husband went back after the marriage, and to date, he hasn’t returned. Sometimes I see her wearing her ring. Other times I see her without it. It’s a small town, so everybody knows our story. People believe she’s being punished for what she did to me.

I don’t know if that’s true, but what I know is true is my own marriage. Two years ago, I married a wonderful woman who makes life easier for me. And to me, that’s all that matters.