Ah, marriage. The holy grail of adulting, right? The ultimate “happily ever after”… until it isn’t.

One moment, you’re sipping your tea listening to Mrs know it all buzz on the radio—you know, the one who speaks in parables and Bible verses, effortlessly blaming women for everything from overcooked ugali, unromantic clothing, to global warming—and you’re there nodding like, “Hmm, wisdom!”

She’d sprinkle her sentences with things like “Submission is the key” and “My husband, the Reverend, is my everything”—and” you’d almost feel bad for not praying over your man’s socks.

Then BOOM! Pungrukushdu! Her marriage, once taunted as a good example of everlasting things on the planet, suffers irretrievable breakdown. It crumbles with a deafening bang. Just like that, Madam Mheshimiwa decides she’s done with her reverend darling. Political power enters and she’s totally drunk with it. Romance exits the stage and she joins the ‘single and mingling’ club.

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So here we are, clutching our little notebooks full of relationship advice she gave at weddings and women’s fellowships. What do we do with them now—make origami?

Because honestly, if the Queen of Matrimonial Wisdom can’t hold it together, what hope do we mere mortals have?

No, thanks. I’ll stay in my lane. Single, smiling, and stress-free. Heri ninyonge kwa upweke kuliko kupoteza “aww” zangu kwa watu wana-drop marriages like a hot potato.