Opinion: Listen up, Men! Stop being a nice guy

The problem with being a “nice guy” in relationships is simple—you finish last. You’ve been lied to your whole life, told that if you’re kind, sensitive, and always available, that’s what women want. Wrong! Being the “nice guy” isn’t what makes women fall for you—it’s what makes them walk all over you. Women don’t respect nice guys. They may appreciate the attention, they may even string you along, but they don’t see you as the alpha, as the man they truly want. They see you as weak.

You’ve been taught that being good means being passive, agreeable, and always putting her needs above your own. But here’s the cold, hard truth: women aren’t attracted to men they can control. They don’t want a guy who bends over backward for them, who’s always there at the drop of a hat, desperate for approval. They might use you, they might keep you around for validation, but they will never see you as a real man. And that’s why you finish last.

Nice guys are too eager to please. They’re afraid of setting boundaries, of standing up for themselves, of being firm. They think that being agreeable is the way to a woman’s heart, but all it does is make them look weak. You know who gets the woman? The alpha, the man who knows his worth and doesn’t need to constantly prove it. Women don’t want a man who lets them walk all over him—they want a man who commands respect without even trying.

Now, don’t get it twisted. There’s a big difference between being a “nice guy” and being a good guy. You can still be a good man—strong, loyal, reliable—but you don’t waste your time proving it. A good man stands in his full masculinity. He doesn’t need to seek validation from anyone, least of all a woman. He leads, he doesn’t chase. He commands respect because he respects himself first. He’s not afraid to set boundaries and say no when necessary.

Women respect strength. They respect confidence. They respect a man who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to go after it. But a nice guy? A nice guy is just there, waiting for permission to be liked, hoping that his constant kindness will earn him something. But women don’t give attraction based on kindness alone—they give it to men who embody confidence, power, and self-assurance.

Being a nice guy is exhausting because you’re always trying to prove yourself. You think that by being overly kind and agreeable, you’ll win her heart, but you’re just setting yourself up to be used and discarded. Women know when they’ve got a man wrapped around their finger, and they will keep you in the “nice guy zone” while they chase the alpha. You’re the backup plan, the safety net—not the prize.

Be an alpha in your full masculinity if you want to be attractive. That doesn’t mean you’re arrogant or disrespectful—it means you’re a man who knows his worth, sets boundaries, and isn’t afraid to stand up for himself. You lead the relationship, you don’t follow her every whim. You have your own goals, your own vision, and you don’t compromise your values to please anyone.

Here’s what you need to understand: women are biologically wired to be attracted to strength. They want a man who can protect, who can lead, who they can rely on. Nice guys don’t give off that vibe—they give off weakness, insecurity, and neediness. And that’s why women don’t respect them. They might say they want a nice guy, but in reality, they want a man who’s strong, confident, and in control.